Questions And Answers On Home And Garden Television Shows

Daniel asks…

please help me fix my essay.?

8576 Barr road
Garden Grove,CA 92841

May 7, 2007

The Pasadena Times
1200 Linden boulevard
Pasadena,, CA 91101

Dear Mr. Bob Smith,

My friends and I went around Rancho Alamitos and randomly asking teens “what is your favorite television show?” The majority of them said Punk’d with Ashton Kutcher.Then we walked around and asked who do you like seeing punk’d? Many of the students’ answers were really random, but one really caught our attention…..The Elderly!!

Our show, Punking It Old School , is going to be hosted by teens kids aged around 13 to 17 years old! The kids will basically go around punking and scaring every old people they see!

Our first episode is going to be in a retirement home. Both of our host is going undercover in disguise as old people. There is a retirement party going on at the time, while our two host in disguise is going to switch the punch bowl with booze! While everyone gathers around to get a drink and get drunk they will finally realize it isn’t punch and we will all yell, “YOU ALL BEEN OLD SCHOOL’D!!”

Thank you for your time. I think we will be a smash hit! I will call you next week to set an appointment.

Charlie Duong

Home Gardener answers:

I’ve rewritten your essay below, correcting grammatical errors and making it a little more polished.

8576 Barr Road
Garden Grove, CA 92841

May 7, 2007

The Pasadena Times
1200 Linden Boulevard
Pasadena, CA 91101

Dear Mr. Bob Smith,

My friends and I surveyed teenagers at Rancho Alamitos, asking them, “What is your favorite television show?” The majority of them said Punk’d with Ashton Kutcher; so we went on to ask them who they like seeing “punk’d.” We got a variety of answers, but one really caught our attention — the elderly!!

That gave us an idea for our own show — Punking It Old School. It will be hosted by teenagers, and they will “punk” and scare every old person they see!

Our first episode is going to be in a retirement home. Both of our hosts will be disguised as old people. There will be retirement party going on, and our two hosts are going to spike the punch bowl with booze! Once everyone has had a drink and is drunk, they will finally realize it isn’t punch and we will all yell, “YOU ALL BEEN OLD SCHOOL’D!!”

Thank you for your time. I think we will be a smash hit! I will call you next week to schedule an appointment to meet with you.

Charlie Duong

Kirstie asks…

I need your critisizims!?

Hi. I asked this before and got some great answers. I have taken all of that advice into account and edited it. The story is about a girl who’s uncle invites her to his home in Tibet for a month, because he needs her help. She then finds out that there are Himalayan Horses on the brink of exctinction, and he needs her to help him come up with a plan to save them. This is the first chapter, and I need you to critisize it. I want to know:
A) strong points
B) weak points
C) I need a title for it!

here it is:


‘Kitsi, your uncle’s here!’ yelled
‘coming mum!’ she yelled back. Kitsi Smith was thirteen years old with tousled light brown hair and stunning green eyes with little orange flecks. She was small for her age, and had tanned, spot-less skin. She was wearing a dark pair of denim shorts and a short-sleeved striped tee shirt, despite of the pouring rain outside. Kitsi got up from the sofa where she had been watching a documentary on Natural Horsemanship. She walked through the hall and to the front door, where her mother, Akita Smith, was talking to her uncle. He lived in Tibet, so she had never met him before. He had dark skin and black hair, with little grey patches here and there. He had laugh lines around his sky blue eyes and a huge grin on his face, revealing a set of gleaming white teeth.
‘Ah, you must be Kitsi!’ his smile widened ‘Pleased to meet you!’ he held out his hand. Kitsi smiled back at him, although she felt unsure of him. Although he looked perfectly friendly, she felt that he was a stranger.

‘Here, take a seat’ said ’Akita, pointing at the brown leather sofa. ‘Kitsi, put the kettle on would you?’ She wandered into the kitchen with a dreamy look on her face. La-Mo, her Uncle, scanned the bright red room. He particularly liked the huge, almost life-sized statue of Buddha, and a little Bonsai tree in the corner. There where three identical pictures of a single stalk of bamboo lined up next to each other on the wall behind him, and a small flat screen T.V. on the wall in front of him. A log fire burned in the fireplace underneath the television, making him feel very comfortable. A little Bengal cat sat on a red fluffy rug in front of the fireplace. A oak bookshelf stood in the opposite corner from the Bonsai tree and a little computer desk next to that. La-Mo felt very cosy as he looked out the window at the sheets of rain getting heavier every minute. Kitsi returned from the kitchen with three cups of tea and a small bowl of sugar. She handed out the cups of tea and placed the sugar bowl on the wooden table. She sunk into a brown beanbag next to the sofa and flicked through the channels on the T.V. while Akita and La-Mo caught up with each other. She noticed her mother and Uncle’s voice turn to a whisper, but didn’t think much of it and carried on watching the television.
‘Could you show me around your garden, Kitsi?’ La-Mo asked, as it had stopped raining
‘Yeah, ok.’ she said, trying to sound confident, although she felt nervous, but she wasn’t sure why.

‘so, Kitsi, what’s life like out here in the country?’ he asked, trying to make conversation
‘yes, its great, thanks. Lots of fresh air’ she wasn’t quite sure why she had said the bit about the fresh air. They wandered around the garden for a while without speaking.
‘I hear your very Horsey?’ he asked. It was more of a question than anything else.
‘um, yes,’ she replied. They walked until the reached the end of the garden. La-Mo spun round, taking Kitsi by surprise.
‘do you want to stay in Tibet with me for a month?’ he asked before he knew what he was saying. Kitsi’s heart skipped a beat. She stared into his piercing blue eyes for a while. After a few minutes, La-Mo was starting to wish he hadn’t asked. After two more minutes, she turned her back to him and thought about it for a while.
Her uncle – whom she had only known for twenty minutes, was asking her to fly thousands of miles away and stay in his house for a month. Any sane person would turn it down, but Kitsi sensed a tone of desperation when he asked.
‘on my own?’ she finally asked.
‘well, without your mother, yes. I need your help’ he explained. She thought about it for a few further minutes.
‘why?’ she asked.
‘I can’t tell you, unless you turn the offer down. it’s a secret.’ she felt a bit un nerved at this. What on earth could he want her to do so badly that it meant not telling her until she was miles away from home, in a foreign country.
‘yes, ok, I’ll help you.’ she said, a little surprised at herself
‘great! Thank you, Kitsi. Now, lets go and tell your mother’ he sighed with relief

.thank’s in advance :)
hi everyone :)
thank you so much for your answers, they have all been VERY helpful. I am 11 years old, but I’m not really sure what age it sounds like it’s aimed at, so what do you think? thanks again!
hi everyone :)
thank you so much for your answers, they have all been VERY helpful. I am 11 years old, but I’m not really sure what age it sounds like it’s aimed at, so what do you think? thanks again!

Home Gardener answers:

Well done. It’s obvious you’re putting effort into your piece and that’s great.

There’s always a lot to say when critiquing another person’s work, but I’ll offer just one quick suggestion from the outside in:-
You seem to be attempting the omniscient narrator viewpoint revealing the thoughts of more than one character. That’s a personal choice and of course there’s nothing wrong with it. But it can confuse a reader when the thoughts of more than one character are revealed in such a short span of time.

I’d advise sticking to Kitsi’s viewpoint, especially early on, in order to encourage your reader to bond with her. In fact I would stay with her throughout.

As for a title, just work on the story and a suitable one will creep up on you in time. And don’t forget that it is your creation, your baby, and that you’re the one who will have to nurture it and put in the hours. So wouldn’t you like to name it yourself?

Well done again, and good luck!

Elizabeth asks…

Husband problems – appreciate your advice?

I feel that my husband is manipulating me or ? We have been married for seventeen years now, and he was never very interested in sex – we make love perhaps once a year. He works from an office right beside the house so getss up after me in the morning, just in time to drop me at the station. He does attend to the shopping and preparing the evening meal which are both things he enjoys doing. I don’t get home till after 8 at night, so we have settled into a routine, with television on, and no time to talk. He tends to fall asleep in the evening anyway. At the weekends he likes to get up late, shop, eat and go to bed in the afternoon for a sleep. He doesn’t like going out, except occasionally to the restaurant when his boss invites him. I look after the garden, the house, any jobs like cleaning walls, carpets etc. The problem is that he never wants to do anything, so any activities like going to the pictures, to visit a castle or anything at all I have to do on my own. I repainted the kitchen on my days off at Christmas and he never said anything about it looking good, better or anything! He never says anything positive about anything I do, or shows an interest in doing anything with me, be it in bed or otherwise, and when I try to talk about it calmly he accuses me of always coming out with the same old story, and goes off and sulks for days, hiding in his office.

Recently I was feeling really down, for no reason, and told him explaining that I felt in need of a bit of cheering up. No reaction whatsoever.

Last week we were out with his boss for a meal and he brought up the subjects of pets. My husband went off into a tirade about filthy creatures, unhygienic and so on. I’m afraid I lost it as I got quite angry with him – he knows that my family has always kept pets and that I would love to have one.

We have gone on separate summer holidays for a number of years as I have a medical condition that stops me from exposing myself to strong sunlight. He likes the sun, so off he goes, and I have discovered that he is purchasing a flat on the Med for the “family”.

Am I wrong in considering that he is is trying to control me by continually putting me down, what I do, my beliefs, my needs? Am I taking this too personally? I don’t know what I should/can do?

Thank you
He was diagnosed with diabetes in September and is trying to bring blood sugar levels down. He has tablets, no injections. Pills make him even sleepier. I really appreciate your comments, some are surprising to me but give rise to deep thought. He is not an unintelligent man, quite the opposite really.

Home Gardener answers:

Hell no you are not taking this to personally.

How in the word are you guys only going to have sex only once a year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That’s not normal at all. Have you thought of him maybe being gay? And he is upset with you or trying to cover his homosexuality by marrying you?

Has he always been this way since the start of your marriage? Because I can’t see anyone being married for 17 years on the situation you are in. He is not there for you.

Being married is all about companionship for the rest of your life, unconditional love for one another, and great safe sex with each other.

You need to have a serious talk with yourself and see if you want to continued being unhappy or get rid of his sorry *ss and be happy.

Alana asks…

The great American airtrikes just killed more innocent civilians, is that the Freedom my govt and media always?

brainwash us to believe? Good luck, that’s not so free to me.

Attacks by US warplanes this week killed up to six Afghan civilians, including a four-year-old girl, and left another 16 wounded. The incidents in Afghanistan’s southern Kandahar province have again underscored the grim human cost of the military escalation ordered by the Obama administration.

At least nine of the wounded reached the Kandahar City hospital. Photographs and television footage from the facility showed badly wounded women and children wrapped in bandages.

The Wednesday night attacks were prompted after a US foot patrol, apparently by special forces troops, drew fire from insurgents. The ground troops called for close air support, bringing in attack helicopters and other warplanes.

“I was at home last night when our house was bombed,” a resident of the Kandahar village of Tawalla in the Shah Wali Kot district, one of two hit by air strikes, told Reuters television. Two of his family members—including the four-year-old girl, were killed, he said, while 12 others were wounded.

According to district officials cited by Reuters, at least two other civilians were killed and four wounded in helicopter attacks on the neighboring village of Miawand.

An account of the Tawalla attack given by the New York Times Friday said that the helicopters began firing into the family’s compound at about 11 p.m. Thursday. Terrified, family members tried to escape the house, running to hide in a nearby orchard.

“When we reached the garden, the helicopter shot at us and injured three of my brothers, one sister, my mother, father and sister-in-law, and killed Rahmania, a four-year-old girl,” Muhibulla, 24, a wounded survivor of the attack told the Times.

“I do not know the reason,” he continued, “we did not hear any fighting that night, and there are not any Taliban in our village. It was a very frightening night for us—we could all have been killed.”

The young man’s father, Niammatullah, 46, said he had tried to stop the family from fleeing the house. Rushing after them, he saw the helicopters firing and crouched behind a wall that was hit and collapsed on him. After he managed to get up, he found “seven members of his family lying wounded on the ground in the orchard, including four of his sons, his wife, his sister-in-law and his daughter,” the Times reported.

In addition to the four-year-old child, the man named four neighboring farmers killed in the attack.
Oh really? socialist websites are evil huh? keep watching that faux and cnn. Yeah.

Home Gardener answers:

Americans want to give Iraq and the rest of the world the freedom to do exactly as America says. It’s a special kind of freedom that they have in many countries like Britain for instance.
As for civilian casualties, most sources agree more than 100,000 civilians have died as a direct result of the American invasion and occupation. Http:// – and there are many more sources. Some point to over a million.
Pretty good revenge for 9/11? Well, considering they had nothing to do with it, no. It’s bizarre, saddening and sick that there are Americans that support this mass murder as “defending freedom” when that’s the exact opposite of what it is.
America invaded for no good reason, America killed women and children, America has been terrorizing Iraq for 7 years, America has caused them to go to war against Iran, America is stealing their resources, America removed and executed the leader of another sovereign nation and gave no discernible reason other than they were “spreading freedom”. And Americans seem to believe this. I suppose it’s easier to believe the lie. But don’t cry about what happens to you when you terrorize other countries. Mid-Easterners see these attacks on their soil as pure evil just as Americans would if other countries invaded, manipulated, tortured and killed civilians in America. Why can’t the Yanks see that? What if that bombing happened in America? Would you be so callous and nonchalant about it then?

Another funny thing is the belief most Americans have that the US ever intends to leave Iraq. There may be troop reductions, but they will never leave. America never leaves. They maintain bases in Okinawa, Italy, Bulgaria, Germany, S.Korea, Kuwait, Afghanistan, Djibouti, Cuba, Spain, Guam, Greece, Turkey, Netherlands, Ecuador, Portugal, Kyrgyzstan etc… And now Iraq. Contrary to popular belief, the US military does not and will never leave. In fact they continue to spread. As long as the American military machine remains running there will be American soldiers in Iraq. It’s just the latest base in the continued attempt to completely dominate the world while claiming to be isolationist. What a joke. For the 2009 fiscal year, the base budget rose to $515.4 billion. No matter if there is a recession or not, it will continue to increase and the only reason to maintain and increase such a massive military is to dominate other countries and tell them how to live or we’ll bomb the sh!t out of you. Sound familiar? It does in Germany.

Ken asks…

Because youre a man?

Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.

Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink beer.

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn’t an issue.

Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like “Cumin” or “Tofu”. For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which “feminine hygiene product” is a euphemism.

Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I’m a man, I don’t think we’re all that lost, and no, I don’t think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger — I mean, how the hell could he know where we’re going?

Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The answer is always either sex or baseball, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don’t.

Because I’m a man, I am capable of announcing, “One more beer and I really have to go”, and mean it every single time I say it, even when it gets to the point that the one bar closes and my buddies and I have to go hunt down another. I will find it increasingly hilarious to have my pals call you to tell you I’ll be home soon, and no, I don’t understand why you threw all my clothes into the front yard. Like, what’s the connection?

Because I’m a man, you don’t have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t.

Because I’m a man, yes, I have to turn up the radio when Bruce Springsteen or The Doors comes on, and then, yes, I have to tell you every single time about how Bruce had his picture on the cover of Time and Newsweek the same day, or how Jim Morrison is buried in Paris and everyone visits his grave. Please do not behave as if you do not find this fascinating.

Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I’m a man, and this is, after all, the 90′s, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I’ll do the rest.


Home Gardener answers:

Because I am a man, I have a sense of humor and can laugh at guy bashing, but then make fun of women and get called a male shovenaust pig. And because I’m a man, i don’t know how to spell shovenaoust pig.

Chris asks…

Funny Jokes, make u lol!!!?

Yo mamma’s so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang “We are family!”


Your Momma’s so fat, when she blinks, her eyelids clap!


Your Mama is so stupid, she sits on the Television and watches the sofa.


Yo mamma’s so poor, she can’t afford to go on welfare.

Yo mamma’s so poor, she got thrown out of a homeless shelter.

Yo mamma’s so poor, she tried to use food stamps on a gumball machine.

Yo mamma’s so poor, a burgler broke into her house and left her some money.


There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

“No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”

“I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”


A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore.

His wife fluttered about him, pleased with the amount of work he had done and anxious to get him to do some more.

“Have a nice soak in the bath and I’ll bring you a drink,” she suggested smiling.

“Good idea,” says the husband looking forward to being waited on.

He’s in the bath when she comes in with a nice glass of Scotch which he accepts happily.

“If there’s anything else you’d like just call,” says the wife as she leaves the bathroom.

When she got halfway along the landing the husband relaxes completely and lets off an enormous long fart in the bath.

A few minutes later, despite it being a very warm Summer’s evening, the wife comes in with a fluffy bed warmer

“What the heck is that for?” asks the husband snappily.

“Oh Darling,” says the wife, flustered, “I thought I heard you say, “Whataboutahottawaterbottle.” [Not too funny]






two sperms were swimming along and one said to the other ” how far to the ovary” the other one repiled “miles were only passing the tonsells”


Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!


The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”


A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

“Where did you get that?”
The pig replied,
“I won her in a raffle!”


A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

“For best results, put on two coats”.


Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

“I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!


Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

“I think they could be bird tracks.”

The second blonde went to look and said,

“No, I think these are deer tracks.”

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!


A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

“You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”


A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling,

“You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the r

Home Gardener answers:

LOL…’s blondes like you that gives the rest of us blondes a bad rep….if i could swim i would come out there and kick your butt.

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